After my last post I remembered that during my psychosexual therapy I wrote a letter to my Vagina. It kind of helped at the time. It’s something any one can do to gain a bit of power back- whatever or whoever they are writing to. Maybe try it. Here’s mine:
Why have you turned on me? I thought we were a team just waiting to find our perfect match, but you decided to punish me with pain and hopelessness.
Why did you allow people in who cared nothing for me but closed yourself to the one man who truly loves me? You make me feel like I’m not a real woman and can’t give him what he needs and wants. And I need and want those things too.
Why must you sting and burn? Why do you treat me like the enemy? I’m grateful for the small moments of pleasure but I want more. I want my body to have freedom from pain and illness and you’re only adding to my problems.
Let me walk freely, wear what I like, touch you and be touched too. Let Him in. Imagine how good it could feel if the pain would go away. To be as close as possible to Him and feel satisfied and satisfying. What a joy that would be. No more creams and pills, equipment and therapies. No more examinations and money spent on train journeys to fix you.
We ARE a team. I’m working hard to make you better, please help to make life better by working with me. Be a little more relaxed and forgiving. Let’s have fun and do all the things we can possibly do together. I know you have problems deep inside but don’t shut yourself off because of that. We’ve both suffered pain and bad times but together let’s fight this vulvodynia and live our life again.