‘Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?’
In my case it feels more like ‘Shall I compare thee to an elderly woman?!’
I’ve been very lack lustre this week and I do apologise for the lack of my regular features. I attended a wedding over the easter bank holiday which involved travelling and long days…not the most compatible things with me! It got me thinking though about how we compare ourselves to others.
I began tiring and getting dizzy half way through the day, pretty good going for me, but when it hit…it hit hard! I doubt anyone around me knew that I was struggling but as much as I wanted to be able to get up and dance like everyone else I just couldn’t. The thing that really bugged me was all of the “Come on, you gonna dance?”, “Sitting down? What’s wrong with you!” comments. You see this was my husbands friends wedding and so no one there other than him knew about my ‘health issues’. I do get frustrated when people assume you are a ‘regular’ 20 something who should be doing what the majority of other people are doing and think its ok to berate you if you’re not! But perhaps if people were the other way round and overly considered everything they said other people incase that person was struggling with something, then you’d start to feel like you looked as bad as you felt!
Comparison is tricky. Sometimes its good to compare yourself to others to gain inspiration. But mostly I find myself using it in a negative way. At that wedding I silently struggled, feeling sorry for myself that I couldn’t be like everyone else…But who’s to say how everyone else is anyway? At least one other person in that room would have been hiding something that they were struggling with. Maybe even the person next to me. When you compare yourself in order to justify self pity, it is never worthwhile or accurate. My comparison of myself to another person would be hugely different to someone else’s.
And I compare things constantly. Perhaps we all do…
Her outfit is much better than mine.
Their house is decorated so much better than mine.
I wish I could be at the gym all the time like her.
But are any of these things statement of fact? NO! It’s just negativity in a different form. It’s me feeling a sense of injustice and believing that I am not as good as others.
I will remind myself at this point of something that may sound negative but I think is always a helpful thing to think when comparing. Yes, there’s always someone better off/at that/looking than you, but there is also someone worse off/at that/looking than you.
At the end of the day, everyone is different. There is no ‘normal’. Ok so maybe most of the people around you are fairly healthy and you’re not. So what! Maybe one of those people is desperately heartbroken and hiding that pain. We are all hiding things, even the people who are the life and soul of the party. All you can do is be honest with yourself, accept yourself in all its glory and hardships, and stop comparing! Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses and like they say, if we were all the same, life would be pretty dull!