autoimmune, Coping, health, Inspiration, Mental health, mottos, Uncategorized, Wellness

Interesting quote that reminds me of both the good Drs who do exactly this and the bad who only look at tests and typical ‘normal ranges’ and don’t treat you as a person and individual case. 

“Death is not the enemy sir, Indifference is!

You treat a disease, you win, you lose.

You treat a person, I guarantee you, you’ll win, no matter what the outcome.”- Patch Adams

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Expectations

experiences, Growing up, health, Inspiration, life, Life Story, Mental health, motivation, Self doubt, Self improvement, Uncategorized, Wellness


In life most people are always expecting something. Whether it’s what will happen next in their day, or whether that new pill they’re on is going to work or not. We expect things because predicting outcomes gives us something to aim towards. It usually goes hand in hand with how optimistic or pessimistic we are in general too. Sometimes people think that expecting the worse can be a good thing because you’ll only end up meeting that expectation or being pleasantly surprised. But surely it’s better to approach things with more confidence therefore creating a path along the way that will ultimately lead to the more positive outcome you’re expecting.
But what happens when things don’t meet our expectations? I’ve dealt with this myself and it’s something I’ve been trying to come to terms with recently after realising that not reaching my own expectations was affecting me more than I ever knew. I always had a very clear idea of where I would be in my career by now but unfortunately my health set me back and the level I have achieved isn’t what I always expected it would be. Whilst I have accepted that now, disappointment is something you have to go through when you have made an expectation for yourself. You also face other people’s expectations too. For me I also had other people’s same high expectations which created a lot of guilt and shame. But that is why we must live for ourselves and make sure that we have pride and happiness no matter what we achieve or don’t, without worrying that everyone around us is pleased with everything we do or don’t. 
You wont always meet expectations and neither will the things around you in your life but you can learn to live with expectations and be more kind and reasonable to yourself along the way.

“The list”

autoimmune, Coping, experiences, health, Inspiration, life, Uncategorized, Wellness

Perhaps like me you’re one of those unlucky people, who when you go to see a new healthcare professional or sometimes even a beautician, or you’re just filling out a form for something, where you’re not expecting it, you have to recite the dreaded list. 

‘Do you have any health conditions?’

“NOOO IM GONNA GET DRY MOUTH! Seriously is this not on the system!? Do you need to know?”

I find most people switch off about half way through my list. But the thing is, it’s not just a list, it’s my life! I deal with this crap every day, so you might be getting frustrated by having to write down or read through my list but imagine living with all of the things on the list!!

So perhaps lovely readers you might be so brave and lovely as to bear with me and read my list and then comment with yours and I will read yours. We can appreciate eachothers struggles but we can’t know how it feels. And this is one time when we are writing the list just for ourselves and we are accepting that our lives are hard but we are owning it and we are awesome and that list is part of us 🙂 much love…here goes!

  • Hashimotos disease
  • Migraine (including hemiplegic migraine)
  • Pernicious anemia 
  • Depression and anxiety
  • Endometriosis
  • Vulvodynia (& vestibulodynia)
  • Essential tremor
  • Fibromyalgia (recently diagnosed)
  • Irritable bowel syndrome
  • Hypermobility syndrome
  • Acid reflux disease
  • Eczema 
  • Piles 😳
  • Bruxism (Grindy teeth, locking jaw!)
  • Costochondritis

That’ll do!

I do feel good listing it and I actually don’t feel embarrassed, none of it is my fault and I feel I’ve been given a poo-y stick sometimes but I have a lot of great things too in my life and we are all allowed moments of self pity as long as they are brief and you get back up. Managing your life around how you feel daily is important and accepting that you mustn’t compare yourself to anyone else is key. If you want to join in please leave your list for me to read 🙂 

Embarrassing illnesses…

health

Whenever I have to cancel work and can’t say the real reason why, I get frustrated at the amount of things that seem impolite to reveal.

There are many conditions or illnesses that people are too embarrassed to say they have to anyone other than very close family/friends. But we shouldn’t have to feel that way! We try to get around it by wording it a certain way, or being really vague but all our bodies do gross or embarrassing things sometimes! Below is a list of as many things I could think of and the other ways we say them.

Diarrhoea

A perfectly technical term and come on- everyone gets this at some point!!

Some ‘polite’ ways of saying this are:

-Funny tummy

-bad tummy

-tummy ache

-dodgy tummy

-Feeling sick

-food poisoning

-upset stomach

Some more graphic ways of saying this include:

-The squits!

-Been on the toilet all night

-Shooting out of me

-Coming out both ends

-got the sh*ts

-Flaming hole

Yeah so not particularly nice phrasing!!

So what is the best way to say ‘Sorry I can’t do today, I…’ My choice would be:

‘Sorry I can’t do today, I have a bad tummy

It is a fair sum up of whats wrong, they probably know what you really mean, but you still seem sweet and innocent with no butt references!

Period pain

People never think this is so bad- if you have endometriosis then it is killer but it can also suck for most women too! Yet it always sounds like a bad excuse.

Here are some other terms:

-Menstruating (perhaps too scientific and makes you envisage it?)

-Time of the month

-Aunt Flow’s visiting

– Stomach Cramps

– Stomach pain

– Lady problems

– I’m bleeding

-Heavy period

So which seems the most polite? I’d go with:

‘I can’t do today, I have bad stomach cramps’

I choose this because its truthful but not too specific.

Haemorrhoids (spell check changed it to this?)

Ok, what are our other terms?

-Piles

-Pain down below

-Swelling

-Problems going to toilet

To be honest I can’t think of anymore! I expect there are some more awful ones! Ok so this wouldn’t likely be an excuse not to go out but to tell someone you have this, what term do you use? I actually think any of these would be fine- its a very embarrassing problem but incredibly common. No one likes talking about problems with their bottom but I think if you need to tell someone then theres no one best way to say it!

Incontinence 

Other terms:

-Can’t hold it

-Leaky bladder

-Pissed my pants

-Can’t control my bladder

-Problems going to toilet

-Need to use the toilet alot

Another problem that is to do with your pelvic area which can cause people a lot of shame. It’s the kind of thing that needs an open conversation and not necessarily something you would need to tell people out of your close circle. However if you did need to I would go with the ‘problems going to toilet’.

Vulvodynia

Something very close to me and something I rarely ever talk to people about because of the embarrassment- but how do you describe it?

-Problem with my nerve endings

-Pain during sex

-Pain down there

-Unable to have sex

-Chronic pain condition

-Pain in my vulva

-Pain problem

Again, this problem deserves a full and extensive chat with all of these phrases included! But if you’re in a situation where it needs to be said in a vague polite way I’d go with ‘chronic pain condition’.

So I’ve noticed a trend…all of these problems affect your sexual organs and digestive tract. This area of the body is the most hidden day to day, incredibly complex, and obviously a taboo subject. But so many people suffer with these kinds of problems, so we need to get over the need to carefully word everything! I have piles…so what? It’s one of the least problematic side effects of my many other conditions and nothing that reflects on me as a person! I have vulvodynia and it sucks big time but its chronic pain in the vulva that comes on suddenly and can happen to anyone, so again, no reflection on me as a person!

Let’s all get over it! Please I want to hear any other so called ’embarrassing’ problems and your way of telling people whats wrong. One day hopefully we can just be honest and not have to overthink everything we say!

Wellness Wednesday’s

Coping, Inspiration, motivation, Wellness

Okay yes I know I’ve been rubbish again and missed Wednesday but I did actually write it I just forgot to post it!

I wanted to talk about goals this week. I think it’s really important to set yourself goals but not to give yourself more stress in doing so. Setting small goals throughout your day is really important, and this doesn’t mean something as big as doing all the housework it can mean something as tiny as simply getting out of bed. Because that not tiny to many people.

The more small goals that you have on your list and tick off as you go along, the more achievement and pride you will feel in yourself throughout the day. When I set tasks that are too big for myself and I don’t complete them I always feel disappointed, however if I set lots of tiny tasks that really most people probably wouldn’t even consider tasks and I have lots and lots of them ticked off, I feel so much better about myself that I managed to achieve so much!

Of course we all have big ambitions too. For your larger goals I think that it’s really difficult to set a time limit. For example one of the most common goals that people set, losing weight. Let’s say I want to lose two stone and I set myself six months to do this. When I reach the end of the six months and I haven’t managed to lose all the weight if feels like an endpoint. It feels like I’ll have to start all over again. However if your task is an ongoing achievement then it doesn’t matter at what point you reach it. You should have check in points not an end date as then you never feel that you’re starting over it’s always a continual journey. This way you avoid too much disappointment but you still work hard to get to the point of achievement. I know some people might say that this defeats the point of setting goals, but for me I don’t think that reaching the target is the biggest or best part. What you learn and the smaller achievements along the way to reaching that large goal is so important, and when you have a time limit you often overlook these achievements with only the end in mind. I no longer say to myself I’m going to lose X amount of weight by this time. I say hey you’re my body and I accept you the way you are but I’d like to lose this amount of weight and I will get there however long it takes.

This is especially important if you have health problems that tend to get in the way or other things that create obstacles. You should never feel like a bout of illness is the end of reaching your task and you will need to start all over again. All the work that you put in before the hurdle comes in your way is still relevant and counted towards reaching your goal and you never should have to not over.

I’m not saying the system of setting goals to complete by a certain time isn’t right for some people, but if you’re the kind of person that beats yourself up when you haven’t achieved what you wanted to, then I think it’s better to consider that you’re constantly evolving, constantly working towards goals and not to feel like you’ve ever disappointed yourself. You should always feel proud of yourself for any small achievement whether that be simply getting out of bed or whether it’s that big thing like losing weight or writing that book.

Always be positive. Always be learning and improving and achieving. But please don’t push yourself too hard as you are great right now and to achieve more greatness takes time 🙂

Belated Wellness!

Coping, motivation

I seem to be a day late with everything this week! As Wellness Wednesdays was a bust I have some wellness for you this evening in the form of a motivational poem. Written on the spot so certainly no masterpiece! Enjoy!

When I feel blue, which most of the time I do,

I try to give my mind, a dose of something new.

I’ve tried learning to yodel,

I’ve tried to write a book,

I’ve tried a change of scenery

To brighten my outlook.

There’s always something to be done

to stop a downward spiral.

To turn the sadness in your eyes

into a rising smile.

So when the bad thoughts come and your insides feel churned up

Try your hand at something new and you could change your luck.

A BIG hug to everyone who needs one- life can be tough but we should always keep on going. Interrupting bad thoughts with just doing something is the first step!